


Selective Memory

by Ylevihs



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Consensual Sex, Inappropriate Use of the Force, M/M, Non Penetrative Sex, Spectrophilia, a little angsty, a little sad, emperor AU, inappropriate use of force ghosts, older hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 23:19:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8228159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ylevihs/pseuds/Ylevihs
Summary: Not even death can stop Kylo from bad touching his husband.For day 7 of Huxloween





	

**Author's Note:**

> So.

The Emperor narrowed his eyes but didn’t look up from the report he’d been scanning. The hand wrapping around his thigh squeezed slightly and slid up further. A breeze unfelt by any other living creature flicked the edges of his hair gently. There was a time when it was more ginger than grey. Now it was more white than anything else. The squeezing began coming and going in a rhythm, kneading the muscle there like dough. It made his knee ache. 

The breeze was back, ruffling his hair with more gusto until it began falling in his face. He could have sworn he felt a hand drag itself through the thinning locks. Starting at the forehead and dragging back, sending Hux’s hair into disarray.

One of the guards at the end of the hall, a newer recruit if Hux’s eyes didn’t deceive him, stared. 

“You’re not as amusing as you believe yourself to be, Ren,” the Emperor muttered. 

Just on the edge of hearing there came a noise Hux’s ears swore they hadn’t heard. It was times like this Hux found himself wanting, as he never had before, that he were stronger with the Force. Perhaps then Kylo’s laughter would be slightly less ethereal. The thought sent the glimmer of an ache through his heart. 

The breeze in his hair blew down the side of his face, light and cool, until it reached his neck where it turned harder. The pressure that wasn’t being applied by a hand that didn’t exist drifted firmly towards the crease where Hux’s leg met his crotch. 

**I miss you.**

“Hm,” Hux replied passively. He gave the data pad to a nearby aid and rose from his seat. Every eye in the room was immediately on him. Kylo’s little ‘outbursts’ were fairly few and far between anymore. It required too much energy for him to do it too often. When he’d been alive they had been much more frequent, the Knight taking an absurd amount of pleasure in riling Hux up in a room of politicians. But those who were closest to the Emperor did not miss the way Hux’s clothing occasionally rumpled themselves. Nor did they miss that at the start of a celebration honoring Hux’s rise to power the Emperor’s neck had been unmarred and by the end it had suspicious looking dark circles—broken blood vessels just below the surface of pale skin. It was a small mercy that none of them openly gossiped about it. Precious few had been aware of the marriage when Kylo was alive; even fewer would suspect that Kylo’s spirit would be capable of continuing to torment his husband.

After a moment of surveying the room, Hux turned to his left and stalked from the room. 

He’d made it halfway back to his bedroom when the pressure changed. 

**I miss you.**

And Hux felt Kylo on him, through his clothing, pressing and sliding and unfairly cool. There was nothing for Hux to grope at besides himself so he resolved to up his pace until he was safely inside his room. 

**I-**

“I know,” Hux said, a bit more firmly than he meant to. He forced his voice into softness. “I miss you, too,” The air in front of him shimmered slightly. After a great deal of research into the matter Hux had found that he was too numb to the Force to ever be able to see Kylo fully. But the shape was there—the height and broadness of shoulder. “Six and a half years and I still sometimes wake expecting to see you next to me,” he tried to stave off the sadness in his voice with a bitter laugh and failed. 

**I’m always here.**

“And yet you say you miss me,” The hands that began slipping beneath Hux’s clothing were invisible; Hux couldn’t have touched them if his life depended on it. The first few times he’d tried nevertheless. He would never get used to feeling hands on him, the pressure of a body against him, and meeting only empty air when he went to return the attention. He’d learned to keep his hands at his sides now, but it still made his palms itch and fingers curl. 

Fabric fell and caught around his knees, it was pushed down to his ankles. He felt something moving him backwards and obliged, slowly sinking backwards onto the bed. 

Something like thumbs began rubbing circles up his inner thighs. 

**You’ve gone all white here as well.**

“Some of us are old men, Kylo,” Hux rolled his eyes. He’d counted himself lucky that the hands of time hadn’t been overly cruel to him. His eyes showed most of it, where the corners were deeply wrinkled and upper lids had grown heavy. The creases around his lips were only mildly severe—he wasn’t quite yet jowly like his father had been but the makings were there.

Pressure, light and infuriatingly intangible, ran over him. Not stroking or pulling or even teasing. Just touching. Hux resisted looking down. Experience had taught him just how disconcerting it was to see your own cock bouncing in the air as though it were a puppet. A fuller pressure just at the crest of his thigh. In life it would have been Kylo’s head resting on his leg. 

Kylo had aged in a. Well. He’d looked. The prolonged influence of the dark side had not been kind. But those were thoughts for a different time. He couldn’t see him now, but in his mind Hux pictured Kylo rather unchanged from the night he ascended to the throne. His hair was still dark and had been swept back gently from his brow; his eyes had been bright. A figure in sharp black relief against the ostentatious crowd. 

**We fucked on the balcony.**

Hux snorted. “Made love, Kylo. We made love on the balcony that night. We fucked in the throne room the next morning,” and nerves began firing off with the gentle shift of the pressure on his thigh. Muscle memory, stronger than anything the Force could magic into him, reminding itself of how Kylo’s smile felt against his skin. It made Hux’s chest feel tight. 

The airy pressure moved upwards and Hux felt his lips being parted gently. As he opened his mouth he felt Kylo’s lips against his own—felt the slide of a tongue moving. His mind, however, insisted there was nothing there. Merely cold air and his own saliva drying on his lips and.

Now Kylo was stroking him. Gently and lazily, taking his time in drawing Hux into hardness. Hux let his eyes slip shut and focused on the sensation, not wanting to disappoint. It was easier with his eyes closed. He could nearly imagine that Kylo was physically there, just out of reach, only choosing to keep his touches feather light. Thankfully Hux’s dick was nowhere near as picky as his mouth and accepted the feeling of a palm slipping along it without question. 

Finally, thankfully, Hux felt the pulse of blood drawing down his body. A thumb was playing along the underside of the head of his dick, swirling gently. It took longer than Hux was proud of for his cock to fully harden. As it did though the speed of the unreal hand increased, twisting and pressing in ways that weren’t physically possible. A low level thrum of pleasure began in his lower abdomen dancing up through his core.

 **Talk to me.**

Hux sighed, broken from his stupor, and cleared his throat. 

“Do you remember when we finally settled the riots on that outer rim planet?” he asked, bucking slightly forward into the touch. 

**You were so proud of yourself for such a minor victory.**

“We take our victories where we can,” Hux said harshly. “And I was referring to that evening. How I pinned you to the bed?” there was a wriggling sensation that Hux’s dick slotted into the category of ‘fingers’; his mind continued to shriek that there was nothing there. “I rode you into the bed until you were begging me to stop,” Hux’s pelvic muscles were beginning to twitch. “Do you remember? The feel of me taking you deep, over and over, until I was full of you? I made you scream my name until your throat was raw. I could barely walk the next day, my knees wouldn’t stop cracking,” the phantom hand was moving quickly now, twisting and curving in its strokes. “That was perfect,” he managed, hips canting forward. 

**It _was_ perfect. That was the night you proposed.**

It felt like the softest punch to the gut. He could hear Kylo’s voice as though he were just next to him. Hux swallowed hard.

“I remember,” that felt like a mouth on his tip, sucking and a tongue rolling. Hux reclined back onto the bed, feeling hands drawing up over his body as a nonexistent mouth sank over him. His lower back yelled at him briefly, his hips also submitted a strongly worded complaint. It was overshadowed by the sensation of swallowing around his cock. He moaned low and began panting as more of his nerves began insisting they were being stimulated while his brain fought back sternly. Nothing was touching him. There was nothing there. There certainly wasn’t a tongue pressing hard along the underside of his cock or a pair of fingers flicking over one of his nipples. 

It felt like he couldn’t get enough oxygen; heartbeat pounding in his ears. He focused hard and he could feel it better. More fully. The slide of Kylo’s mouth, the pulling fingers, the. He could remember the way Kylo’s hair felt, cool and smooth against his skin, between his fingers, under his lips, pressed against his neck in the small hours of the night. Hux felt his throat tightening at the memory. Without telling it to one of his hands rose up and covered his eyes, pressing in as though he could erase the mental image. 

The muscles in his lower body were winning the fight with his brain and began tightening. The mouth—not a mouth, there wasn’t a mouth there it was just air—left his cock, replaced by a hand. The sensation of lips on his shouldn’t have been possible with his hand still in the way, but he felt them nonetheless. Every bit as firm and chapped as every time they’d ever kissed in life. His hand slipped away, decades of muscle memory almost dragging it forward to hold Kylo closer. 

Hux finally gave into the temptation and opened his eyes, knowing he’d only be able to see the ceiling and yet. For less than half a second, quite possibly the cruelest moment of his life, he saw Kylo. Blue and glowing; as young and beautiful as the night he’d proposed. 

“Kylo,” and halfway through his choked sob Hux’s orgasm hit, turning into a long shuddering moan. His hips bucked forward and then immediately began arthritically complaining to the manager. The sight of Kylo was gone but Hux could feel the arms around him, the mouth now on his neck, the hand pulling him through it. The muscles in his lower abdomen continued to spasm, just on the other side of soreness. 

Then, like rising steam, the feeling was gone. There was no longer a light breeze across his temples, nothing lightly wrapped any part of his anatomy. After a moment of heavy breathing Hux rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, knowing that sooner rather than later he’d have to deal with the drying cum on his inner thigh. For the moment he stared at the ceiling. 

“Kylo?” and now the feeling was distant, as though Kylo were in the other room and whispering. Prolonged appearances took a great deal out of...whatever it was Kylo was.

**Were you crying?**

“I,” Hux stopped and took a moment to compose himself. A decade ago he would have denied it; he felt in his bones he was too old for such behavior. “What will happen when I die?” there was silence and Hux took the chance that he’d merely caught Kylo off guard. “Not in. Not like that. I meant,” he took another deep breath and there was a weak wind against the fringe of his hair. “This ends when I die, doesn’t it? I don’t have the Force Kylo. I won’t. I can’t go where you’ve gone. I thought I’d lost you when you died; it’s only just occurring to me that I won’t really lose you until _I’m_ dead. And then,” he made a motion with his hands, tightly balled fists suddenly going limp and loose and empty. “Forever,”

**Hux.**

Kylo sounded ancient and exhausted. “It doesn’t really matter, I suppose,” and every word tasted like a lie. “You’ve already given me more than I had any right to ask for,” these trysts for instance, he didn’t say. That hurt so much and always hurt more when Kylo’s presence left. 

**Hux.**

Kylo repeated and Hux fell silent, hearing the tone of the other man’s voice. 

**Wherever you go, I’ll find you. One death didn’t keep me from you—you think a second one will?**

He sounded breathless. Ragged. It was taking too much for him to linger this long and converse this much after his earlier exertions. 

“I believe you,” Hux said quietly, not sure if he was lying or not. “I love you, Kylo,” he muttered after a moment. There was a light rustle of air against his eyelashes, so weak he could have easily missed it if he hadn’t been waiting for it. Hux let himself wallow for a few more minutes before he righted himself, rubbed his lower back, and set about slowly cleaning himself off. Completely and utterly alone.

**Author's Note:**

> I just made this up as I went along and was far too lazy to look up any established canon about force ghosts


End file.
